Of Learning and Nesting

Weigh-in Wednesday: First Weight Check

2012-02-29T12:39:00.001-05:00

Last week I started at 254lbs exactly. I have since had three good exercise days, one decent day (carrying Evan for ages counts right?), and three off days. Ouch. We have also been subbing healthy coconut oil, coconut milk and almond milk into our diets. As well as eating minimal grains, when we do eat them.

I did ok for my first week, as far as exercise goes. But this week, I will do better.

Oh Pinterest... A few things from my "Motivate" board:

I weighed myself this morning, and it came in at 251.4. That is 2.6 lbs lighter than one week ago!

Also, my tummy has improved. It's tighter already.

On another note, I'm loving me some dark chocolate.

Flourless Brownies

(Yes we made these this past week...delicious! The texture starts off... off-putting. But it improves when they've been sitting for a couple days.)

Nursery Decor

2012-02-28T20:39:00.001-05:00

Evan's nursery has been in dire need of some decorations to liven it up for awhile now. I've looked on Pinterest, and seen some things I like:

Quotes, books, shelves... I had even found some cute prints on Etsy that I considered. However, I wanted cheap, and easy.

Yesterday, I found the solution.

Eddie had an interview, so I took Evan to Michael's. I actually had him in a sling out in public for the first time, and oh boy, did a lot of people come up to me. One woman actually touched him. And here I thought people were less likely to touch babies when they were being worn - but that would mean people have to respect bubble space. They clearly do not.

For Christmas, my mother gifted me two 8.5" by 11" frames to use in Evan's bedroom. Now I just had to fill them.

Two frames from my mother, one cricut paper cutter, and what we got at Michael's.

I walked up and down aisles, looking for big stickers, decals, anything that would look alright. Eventually, I thought that maybe I could find some plain scrapbook paper to use.

First, I saw birds. I do love simple birds. Then I saw rainbows. While they would match nicely, in my opinion, I didn't really think they looked right for the room. However, I loved them.

Then, I found something perfect. A sailboat paper. It was on clearance for 29 cents! Soon after, I found a paper with miscellaneous forms of transportation in cartoon form. While they didn't quite match each other - they worked for a boy's room.

The four different scrapbook pages, size 12x12.

Maybe someday I'll do something that matches the room and theme more - or maybe not. I like the idea of a random pop to them. Especially now that Evan is noticing more colors and patterns.

We want to put something between them, but we aren't quite sure. Also, on the opposite wall, above the changing table, we want to put shelves of some sort. And yes, we currently "line dry" our diapers over the edge of the crib - Evan isn't sleeping in it yet, and it works. We'll get a drying rack some time before he does.

As for the theme of the room, another Christmas gift from my mom was a Scentsy monkey. He lives on top of the armoire. Along with some random bears, also from my mother.

I think I'll use the other two scrapbook papers to decorate my desk area in the basement. It's currently unused and a total mess. Maybe if it were brighter, I would be more inclined to do something with it. Maybe.

What's new?

2012-02-22T15:02:00.002-05:00

Evan had his 2 month appointment last week.

We decided to do an alternate vaccine schedule for two reasons:

I'm not 100% comfortable with vaccines.
Evan's dad had "absent seizures" as a kid.

Also, his ped assured me that his weight gain was fine. He was 1 ounce shy of 11 pounds.
He's also smiling, cooing, laughing in his sleep, trying to laugh while awake, awesome at almost rolling over, and lifting his head pretty amazingly.

Exclusive breastfeeding for the win.

On another note, I'm trying to change my lifestyle. I've been overweight since pre-baby, and I'm lucky enough that I lost all the weight as soon as he was born, and immediately fit into clothes pretty much the same as before. However, they've always been tight because of pre-baby weight gain, and now my stomach is... well, weird. Ever seen The Shape of a Mother? Well...I would easily fit in around there. And my stretch marks are not fading. So it's time to do something about it.

First, a new diet. I've read a bit about paleo and primal "diets", and we're going to take bits and pieces from them. So, we're cutting out dairy (for the most part), among other changes. We bought coconut oil, coconut milk, almond milk, and applesauce (for healthier baking). We've had a lot of stir fried dinners of chicken and veggeis, and before were doing a lot of chinese (home-made) - so that will continue. However, we've cut down on grains, and will slowly phase them out. Maybe not entirely, but mostly.
We also looked at coconut and almond flour.

Monday, I weighed myself and came in at 254 lbs exactly. I want to lose 100 lbs, and it won't be easy. Especially not with Evan, and breastfeeding. I've never been as hungry as I am now that I am breastfeeding.
I've decided to start working out. Monday, I was only able to do about 3 minutes of cardio before I was exhausted. It's pretty pathetic, but I suppose 3 minutes is better than no minutes. Yesterday, we had to go downtown and pay property taxes. With the way it's laid out, one way roads and all, we ended up walking two blocks from the car to the building. Last night I was feeling it. Oh man, I remember walking farther with our dog pre-pregnancy, and even a few times during pregnancy - even at the end. But, I haven't done anything in the 10 weeks Evan has been here, until now. So, I suppose it's understandable.
I need to work up to more.

I've worked out a rewards system to keep me motivated - I hope it works!

240 - Go to the movies

220 - New Twinkie Tush Diaper (Stalking and all!)

200 - A casual dress

180 - Dinner out

160 - Paint the trim in the bedroom, finally! (Or...have Eddie do it. :) )

140 - Shopping for new clothes

Here's to hoping I see some results! I know, I know... it'll take time. I can't let myself give up. I think I'll do weigh-in's on Wednesday, and update here to keep myself motivated.

Also! Early April I will be posting a review and giveaway for a Wahmies wet bag, size medium. Be sure to check that out!

Patterns & Schedules

2012-02-09T13:27:00.000-05:00

I would like to have one.

Usually these days, Evan goes to sleep around 1 or 2am. Sometimes he wakes up 3 hours later, sometimes not for 5 or 7 (it all depends on the diaper, or if he has to poop). However, I'm not sleeping well, so he gets a diaper change, and I nurse him back to sleep each time he wakes up - until I decide to come downstairs around noon or one in the afternoon. Then he stays on my lap for most of the rest of the night.
His daddy holds and plays with him multiple times throughout the day, and he's occasionally set in the crib on his tummy while I use the bathroom, or placed in his rocker to look at the fishy for a few minutes. But honestly, I feel like he's always on my lap, and I'm always immobile.

Wraps and slings don't seem to work for him, because they take work to put on, and then if he's awake, he doesn't want to be in them right now. He may be content for a couple minutes, but then he wants to move! He wants to walk, stand, crawl. Too bad he's a long ways from being able to do any of it.

Some days he sleeps a ton, others he happily stays awake, and others he is grumpy and overtired and won't get to sleep. So, I think we really need a schedule. I know I have to actually wake up earlier, and start the process of getting into a schedule. But it's hard. And I'm not quite sure where to start without it making everyone miserable and grumpy.

Also, I only know how to nurse him to sleep. Rocking, shhshing, and all those other things don't work. I guess it's fine for now, but what about as he gets older?

Evan is 2 months old on Friday, and I think it's time to try something. Momma needs to start a routine of her own, but she can't if she's glued to the baby.

Any tips or advice?

For the love of sleep: SttN Update

2012-02-06T23:18:00.002-05:00

We purchased some Thirsties doublers to use alternately with our lone Joey-Bunz premium, and then my darling son became even more of a heavy wetter. Doublers don't work anymore, they get soaked in a matter of hours.

Our Best Bottom inserts still work somewhat. Not as long as 7 hours, but about 5ish; however we would like to use those with the Best Bottom cover, at least sometimes!

So we made a new purchase.

A used Twinkie Tush, and it is amazing! I can't wait to get more. This is the real deal now.

The Ultimate Zombie Giveaway!

2012-01-29T17:20:00.000-05:00

Interested in winning 3 books, 2 shirts, Zombie Candy, a Zombie Poster, a Zombie Sticker and a Zombie Magnet? Then click the button.

Who doesn't love zombies?

Super Stalker Sunday Blog Hop

2012-01-28T23:03:00.000-05:00

As you know, blogs hops are a great way to meet other bloggers, socialize and gain more followers. We created this hop as away for you to connect with other bloggers via RSS Feed, Google Friend Connect, Email Subscribers, Facebook Fans, Twitter Followers, and the new Google+!

Click the button to read more and join in. :)

Milestone: Sleeping through the Night

2012-01-26T07:50:00.000-05:00

I am excited to say that last night, I had a theory.

The night before last was horrible. Evan fell asleep on me while we watched movies, and then after, I had to take him upstairs to bed.
Well, he started doing his uncomfortable grunt (usually means he needs a diaper change). I laid him down and went to the bathroom, and he was awake before I came back. I stayed up with him until 5am. Then, he seemed kind've sleepy. So I laid him down, content and quiet, and went to the bathroom. When I came back, he was asleep. So I went to bed.

As soon as I laid down, he woke up. Seriously? So I was up for a few more hours.

Well, my theory was that he gets TOO soaked. Because after I brought him to bed, I woke up and saw the back of his onesie had a HUGE wet spot. Hmm... (User error: Eddie didn't have the cover covering the whole fitted... but the fitted WAS dripping wet, so not entirely his fault.)

His previous "nighttime diaper" was a KL0 (fitted) with a cover.

I decided he gets too wet to be comfortable asleep. So I bought THIS, a 3-pack of Thirsties doublers, and can't wait to get it.
However, we DO have one of THIS, a Joey-Bunz premium insert, it's just too expensive to buy more right now. Unless the Thirsties doesn't work.

Evan fell asleep around 1, I think. I know I didn't go to bed until 2, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch a movie or not. And either way, I wasn't prepared to go another night without sleep.

It's safe to say, I didn't have to. Because 5 1/2 hours of sleep for me later, and my baby is still asleep. How exciting! And he was asleep at least an hour before me.

So now I pump.

PS - Who knew a letdown hurt? It feels like this giant pinching feeling. Hm.

A Learning Experience; Evan's Birth Story

2012-01-23T17:51:00.002-05:00

Today was my 6 week postpartum visit, so it's about time I finished this. I wrote most of it the morning after he was born, while I was still in the hospital. As a forewarning, it is long, and not very eloquently written.
I'm not happy with how it went, but I know that if I had to redo it, I wouldn't change anything really. Not on that day. But, next time things will go differently. Things will be better.

Evan Carlisle was born at 9:41pm, December 10th. He weighed 8 lbs 3 oz, and was 21 inches long.

I woke up at 8:45 in the morning from a contraction, and went back to bed, only to wake again at 8:59. I sat in bed, timing contractions for a little while, before waking my husband, Eddie, up. He wasn’t very happy, especially when I announced that we weren’t going anywhere just yet though.

I continued to have contractions about 7 minutes apart for most of the day, with some 5 minutes, and some as far as 15. I used the time to clean up, and get some last minute things done. Also, one of our cats was sick with no appetite, so we waited for that to be resolved first.

I drove myself to the hospital around 4:30. When they took me back to check me, they first explained how things would go. They would check dilation, then monitor the baby and contractions for half an hour, then have me walk for two hours, then check again. If no progress, I would be sent home.

So when she checked my dilation, she was really surprised. 6cm with a bulging bag of water, 90% effaced. I was definitely in labor. So she decided to skip over all that stuff she had just explained, and admit me. She also said they would probably want to break my water pretty soon. So we head over to the room I'm going to labor in, and the nurses are commenting that they're impressed, and I don't look like I'm 6cm in hard labor, because I'm walking fine, talking, just breathing through contractions. I also told her I wanted to avoid meds if I could, and she said that it seemed like I would be able to no problem.

We get to the room and they hook me up to monitor contractions and fetal heart rate. I'm told I'll only be on this for 20 minutes, but I never get taken off. I later learned that it was because his heart rate was dropping with contractions, but it wasn't "too bad" - they just wanted to keep an eye on it at this point. This definitely changed my plans, as I really wanted to be able to adjust and move around, but instead I was glued to the bed.

After I was set up, I had Eddie text my mom and brother finally that I was in labor at the hospital. Then the doctor comes in; not my normal doctor (or even from my practice) because he's covering for her until 10. He comments that not many people in hard labor are sitting up, laughing, texting, etc.

So he goes to check me before breaking my water, and I'm at 8cm. Progress, and all I've been doing is sitting. Awesome, and surprising.

He goes on to break the water, which wasn't bad. There was a gush of extremely warm liquid, and no obvious difference in contractions right away.

Contractions started to get more intense, but nothing unbearable. They also are getting closer together, but I really have no sense of how close.

I labor for awhile, being able to move a little - but I have to be careful not to disrupt the readings. I've also got two medical students, who are really excited because they've never witnessed a delivery.

I get checked again, still the same.

After awhile, things are a lot more intense. I get checked again. 8 and a half. So some progress. Labor gets a lot more intense when I get the shakes, because it's much more physically exhausting. After a bit they check again, and I'm at 9cm. I stayed at 9 for quite awhile, as contractions starting to run into each other. They wanted me to rock my hips in bed, but between the monitor, and still being limited to the bed, it just wasn't working well for me. The monitor kept getting shifted, so a nurse had to hold it on my stomach.

They decided to place something on Evan’s head to monitor his heart rate, because I was moving too much for the one on my stomach to be accurate.

After another check where I was still at 9, I asked if I could have something for pain. I knew that I didn’t want to be stalled at a 9, and that if I could manage the pain, and get a break between contractions again, I could do what they needed me to so that things could get going again. Especially as they had now mentioned pitocin, and honestly, I didn't think contractions could get worse at this point (mostly because I was unable to get my bearings in between).

They said they didn't think they could give me anything, but they would check. After a little bit, they brought something in, along with pitocin. I was getting the narcotic, which was fine with me.

Now I could tell where my contractions began and ended, and I could adjust myself. After awhile, I still wasn't progressing well, so they upped the pitocin, and as the pain meds were wearing off, they gave me twice as much as they had before. And no, I wasn’t asked before they did this.

Also, somewhere in between, I had been told if I felt I needed to push, let them know. Then my doctor came in early, so she was going to be able to deliver. The rest is a bit fuzzy, and may be out of order.

I was out of it now, either in pain, or sleepy, and she wanted me to try pushing. I wasn't doing well, because I didn't feel an urge. I even told them it was only intermittent. They were pretty insistent, but I refused to push for an hour - then I finally got the urge! Apparently he had been posterior the whole time (we knew that because of u/s three weeks ago, and back pain I had been having), but had rotated. During the rotation, because of how his head was placed, I wasn't feeling the urge consistently. So basically, it was a good thing I waited. Honestly, it felt like something was wrong when I tried to push before. Granted, how I vocalized that was "it hurts" to which they said it would only stop if I pushed him out, and I responded with "no"... They probably thought I was crazy.

Once I was pushing, I was totally out of it. My eyes were closed pretty much the whole time. It was 3 or 4 good pushes, with a break halfway through for oxygen... which I noticed they put on me at some point, but I have no clue when. It was a lot of work, but I made sure to "hold" the pushes in between, in an attempt to not let him slide back in. I just wanted to be done.

Then I heard my doctor say she had to do an episiotomy, and I didn't care at that point. I thought I heard the cut, but I know I didn't feel it.

When he came out, it was like time slowed down. My eyes were shut, and when I opened them, I was confused. They didn’t give him to me right away.

taken by Eddie when they whisked him away - I still hadn't seen him at this point

His cord had been wrapped twice around his neck, and then his breathing wasn’t regular. Evan was over getting examined by the staff. They told me that they were going to take him for an hour to monitor his breathing, and I asked to see him. I still hadn’t seen him.

They let me see him for a second – but not hold him – then they took him off to the NICU.

taken by Eddie in the NICU, where he sat with him, while I slept in L&D

Before long, I was alone in the room. I texted my mom to let her know that he’d been born, and was going to be gone for an hour, and then I wanted time with him before she and my brother came back.

I was in and out of sleep until they finally brought him back to me. It had been longer than an hour. We attempted breastfeeding, and it seemed to go well, and then I was told that he would be taken back to the NICU for a bath and some tests. I wanted my husband to go with them, but he couldn’t. There was something emergent going on with a premie.

We were moved to the room we would spend the rest of our stay in, and then it was a waiting game. My mom found her way back to us, and I got to inform her that we didn’t have the baby yet. My brother and his girlfriend ended up going home around this time, because they had a long day and were exhausted. And we still had no idea when Evan would be back. My mom took my husband to get something to eat, and check on our cats, and then while I was alone, they brought Evan to me. It felt odd, to be perfectly honest.

I didn’t get any of those feelings people claim to get after they have a baby. I felt pretty disconnected from him for at least a day.

I’ve learned from my experience now. Because of the Nubain, he didn’t nurse effectively at the hospital, in addition to how it affected both him and I during his delivery. However, if I hadn’t had the Nubain, things could have gone worse. I could have ended up with a c-section, because I probably would have stayed stalled for awhile, plus his heart rate had been dropping with contractions.

Next time, I would like to have a doula, and have a written birth plan. I do appreciate that they didn’t push medication on me, until of course I asked for it. Overall, the pain wasn’t bad though, and I want to truly go natural next time. I just need to remember that it’s just transition, and that it’s almost over, next time it gets that intense.

Meanwhile, Eddie’s mentioned that we should do a home birth next time. With our pets, that seems like a bad idea. But, I wouldn’t mind a non-hospital birthing center. Something more comfortable. And I would love to actually have some alone time with my husband during the next labor.

Breastfeeding: The Road So Far

2012-01-14T21:29:00.001-05:00

Warning: This post is extremely long.

Early in pregnancy, I was asked if I was planning on breastfeeding, or formula feeding. I assumed I would do both at the time, having no concept of exclusive breastfeeding, and it's benefits. Honestly, I had no idea it was even possible. I had never known anybody to exclusively breastfeed.
Then I began reading forums, articles, blogs... And I realized that breastfeeding was important to me. I hoped I wouldn't be one of the few who was unable to breastfeed exclusively, or at all.

Then, when my niece was born, 6 months before I was due, I decided to take a frozen homemade three-cheese lasagna over to my brother and his girlfriend. His girlfriend's mom was staying with them, and cooking for them at the time, but she would soon go home, and I knew my brother didn't cook.
Eddie and I are close with my brother and his girlfriend. There are a lot of things that we about, and we have a lot of common interests.
So we took the lasagna over, and spent some time with them and their new baby, Lily. They lived about an hour from us, so we decidedly made the most of the trip.
Toward the end of the evening, my brother's future mother-in-law asked if I was planning on breastfeeding.
"Yeah, if I can," was my response. I mean, how could I know at 3 months pregnant if it was going to work out? Everybody told me that I couldn't possibly know. I had even read that people shouldn't buy a pump before they form a good breastfeeding relationship post partum and are positive that it's going to work out.
"Everyone can breastfeed," was her response. Um, I'm sorry, but no. I didn't voice my strongly opposite opinion at the time, but I sure thought it. Most women can breastfeed. Some with problems, some with none. But there are also people who can't breastfeed, at all.
I took a class on breastfeeding through WIC, and didn't learn much - I had already read it all. But I did get to meet their lactation consultant. I liked her, and hoped I wouldn't need her much as she said due to budget constraints, she was only allowed one home visit now.

Fast forward 6 months to December. I had decided that I would breastfeed no matter what. I had been leaking colostrum for months already (in the future, I will find a way to store the leaked colostrum), and had no doubt that my milk would come in.
Evan was born, and already things weren't going as planned. He wasn't placed on my stomach immediately, and they instead took him off to the table to do the APGAR. I was confused, but exhausted so it didn't really hit me right away, except as disappointment. I wondered when I would get my baby back, figuring that it would only be a matter of moments. I hadn't even caught a glimpse of him yet, as he was taken that quickly, and I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see across the room.
I have no idea how long it was, but I was told that they were going to take him to the "Special Care Nursery" (read: NICU) to monitor his breathing. Something was wrong. I asked if I could see him, and they said of course (although I have a feeling I wouldn't have had a chance if I didn't ask). They held him just barely in my reach, and I touched his face before they took him away. I was told he would only be gone for an hour.
I told Eddie to go with them, and I texted my mom in the waiting room saying that they were taking him for an hour, and then I wanted a little bit of time with him before she, my brother and his girlfriend could come back and meet him.
I was in and out of sleep for that hour, waking multiple times to find myself alone in the room. It was these moments that it hit me what had happened, but I was honestly too tired to care much at the time. At one point, a friendly nurse from the NICU came in and asked if I wanted my husband with me, or in the NICU because he wasn't sure. I told her to tell him to stay. Somebody had to be with our son, and I was sleeping anyway.
The hour came and went, and my son wasn't back. I had read that those first moments, and that first hour, were crucial when it came to breastfeeding. Multiple times nurses would come to check something in the room, and when they first came in, I hoped they were bringing Evan to me. They weren't.
Then the same NICU nurse that had come to ask if Eddie should stay came back, and she wasn't alone. Evan was handed to me, and she helped direct me in how to begin breastfeeding. It was easy and natural. She made a comment about how I had more grace than some mothers who had done it before. We were given a few minutes, and then told that they were going to take him back while I moved out of the birthing room. I was assured that it would only be an hour tops, and also Eddie couldn't go with them because of something going on in the NICU.
We went to our new room, where I discovered that my phone had died. It was late now, and I couldn't update my family in the waiting room. Not long after settling into the new, much comfier bed (at the time it seemed that way), my mother found her way back to us. She wasn't supposed to be there, but a nurse allowed an exception. I asked how long she could stay, and was told about 20 minutes. I asked if she would see the baby, and the nurse said she could wait for the baby to be brought back, but she wouldn't get long.
We waited, and waited. Meanwhile my brother and his girlfriend had already left because they had a long day. It had definitely been over an hour, again. Frustrated, my mom took Eddie out to get food, and check on our pets. I filled out paperwork, until finally around 3am, Evan was brought back to me. At this point, we had been separated so much. My plan to never let him wear a disposable diaper had already been foiled.
I attempted breastfeeding, and I held him. I didn't feel right. There was no sudden click, I didn't feel that wave of love and completion that most people claimed. There was no attachment. Just a desire to sleep, and wishing that my mom would bring Eddie back already. But, my phone was dead.
They were gone for what seemed like forever. And I didn't know what I was doing. I knew that he should eat every 2-3 hours, but that was it. So that night, we slept. All three of us. And five hours later, I woke up to a nurse coming to take Evan for some tests. I was panicked. "But I haven't fed him, I slept 5 hours straight!" They acted like it was no big deal and took him for his tests. An hour later, he was brought back, and another nurse came to check me. Later that day, I was given a sheet to fill out with the times he ate, along with a diaper count. They wanted me to rate how well he fed, but I had no idea how to do that either, so I guessed.
Later that day, a nurse told me that if he didn't eat well soon, we would have to supplement. Say what? No, I knew it took awhile for milk to come in. But they were worried he wasn't even getting colostrum.
Another nurse said I could just hand-express and we could spoonfeed or something so that we saw how much he was getting. She clearly "got" breastfeeding moreso than the other nurse who jumped to formula.
My mom thought I was being hysterical about it all.
The best part was that it was Sunday, and apparently there is no lactation consultant on Sunday. And I was being discharged Monday.
Monday came around, I avoided having to supplement by getting one "good" feeding in (actually courtesy of the soothie pacifier - it helped him get a stronger suck). A lactation consultant came by, but she couldn't stay long. She promised she would come back, but must have gotten tied up because she didn't come back before we were discharged. Meanwhile, we almost didn't get to take Evan home because his jaundice (usually normal in newborns) was still getting worse. Instead, they let us take him home, but we had to bring him back the next day to get checked.
When we came home from the hospital, I sat down on the couch with Evan and fed him. I would doze off, feed him, doze off... I was there until bed time, and then I realized he wouldn't sleep without me. He slept fine at the hospital though. So I ended up in the nursery rocker all night, at first crying because I had no idea what I was doing, then sleeping, nursing, sleeping... Until finally he stopped nursing. Evan was screaming, and would wake up, scream, half-nurse, sleep, repeat. In the morning, we took him to get his biliruben levels checked, and they were 16. Still getting worse. The nurse said that we shouldn't have been able to take him home until they were improving. Insert worry. Evan slept so well while we were there, probably exhausted from all that screaming at home!
They ordered us a bili-blanket, and said that we would need to supplement for now. I asked if that could be why he was so horribly fussy and inconsolable all morning, and they said probably. At that moment, I didn't mind that they were going to give him formula. I just wanted my baby to be happy, and healthy.
After that bottle, he wouldn't latch at all. So I called the WIC lactation consultant that I had met a couple months previously. She was going on vacation for the holidays, but could come see how things were going before she left. That would be my one home visit, which I desperately needed. I was losing confidence with breastfeeding every time I tried, and every time Evan screamed, fought, and rejected me. Formula was just so easy, and tempting. But, luckily I had begun pumping with my "occasional use" electric pump. It was a cheap Evenflo pump, but it worked. It took a lot of work, but I started to get 1 ounce per feeding for him, while he was taking 2 ounces.
So I had her come Thursday before she left, and when she came, I could get him to latch - for about two seconds. She said that it looked like a decent latch, but he was just impatient for letdown. Denise, the lactation consultant, referred me to one of the hospital lactation consultants, Julia. She said they sell some things that could help - one of which was a supplemental system that would allow him to drink his needed formula from the breast. Denise also wondered why they bottle-fed Evan, knowing that I was breastfeeding. She said they should have used a syringe or something, and that I could ask about that as well.
I regained some of that confidence.

We went to the hospital for his bili-check, again. While they tested his blood, we got to meet with a lactation consultant - Julia. She had us attempt to feed him at the breast, and she pointed out that he wasn't latching correctly. His tongue was going to the roof of his mouth while he was latching. No matter what I did, it wasn't working, and so we couldn't have the supplemental system. She tried a nipple shield, and it still didn't help. Finally, she tried the Haberman bottle. It required a good latch to work, and thus would "teach" him to latch correctly. So we bought it for $24. She also had me pump with the hospital pump. I got 1 ounce from both sides, which is what I got at home too, just it didn't take as long with the Medela.
I left with a follow-up appointment for the next week.
Within a couple days, one of our cats found the Haberman bottle, and tore the nipple up. I ordered a replacement from Amazon (which wasn't cheap), and was forced to give him normal bottles until then. I worried that it would set him back. Meanwhile, I stopped having the heart to attempt breastfeeding him directly. He acted like it was torture, and I just couldn't do it. I also wasn't good about pumping religiously. I noticed in the following days that my pump wasn't sounding quite right, but it still worked, so I still used it.
Meanwhile, I was told we didn't have to supplement once he was back to birth weight because his jaundice was improving.
Two days before our follow-up appointment with the lactation consultant, I tried breastfeeding and he suddenly latched. It finally clicked. And then we had a weight check. He was up to 8lbs 10oz. Evan surpassed his birth weight, and I said goodbye to the formula.

A few weeks went by, and I thought that everything was going well. Evan was having more and more awake time. He would look around, even smile at me and Eddie. I thought it was normal for him to want to nurse almost all the time.
We went to his one month weight check this past Thursday (Jan. 12th), and he was 8lb 15oz. It had been 20 days since his last weight check, and he only gained 5oz. If he was gaining the minimum healthy amount (1/2 oz per day) then he would have gained 10oz, but he didn't even meet that. The nurse told us that we would have to supplement every 3 hours with formula. I asked how much, and she said 2-3 ounces. I asked if we had to do it at night and she responded, "If he's hungry."
I left that appointment pissed. I had gone through so much, and he seemed fine! Why should I have to supplement, again?!? At least he was, in fact, gaining weight. Plus, there are other factors. He hadn't been pooping regularly at his first weight check, for one. For two, I knew for a fact he had grown. I clothe him, I put diapers on him... he's bigger. He smiles. He's attentive.

When we got home, I first posted a complaint on a facebook group that I'm a part of. They validated my opinion, and assured me to wait until I talk to my lactation consultant, because supplementing formula would hurt my supply.
Then I posted on the wall for my local chapter of Eats on Feets, a mother-to-mother milksharing group. Then I began reading about what a breastfed baby should be gaining. He definitely wasn't gaining enough. Meanwhile, I kept track of how often he was eating. 5:40-6:15. Then again at 6:55. Then again around an hour later. Every hour? No wonder I was going crazy, I thought this was normal! I left a voicemail for my lactation consultant from WIC and went on with my night.
We gave him one bottle of formula that night, and I pumped, reassuring myself that it was only temporary.
He slept better than usual that night, and by the morning, I had a message on facebook. A stay-at-home mother of three wanted to donate to us.

The lactation consultant hasn't called back, but she should after the weekend. Melissa, the donor mom, and I have spoken on facebook and on the phone. She's also given me advice to help get my supply up. We're going to get together in the spring.
And of course, my mother was disapproving at first, but she got over it. Now, my brother's girlfriend is voicing her opinion as well. But you know what? I'm happy with this situation, finally.
I'm finally comfortable supplementing. I know that it's not forever, and I finally have support, something that I've been lacking until now.

Eddie and I are happy in our decision to receive donor milk, and that's all that matters.

Next time around, I will save leaky colostrum from pregnancy. I will pump from day one (which I was advised not to do by a nurse at the hospital). I will set an alarm those first nights in the hospital. And hopefully, things will go better. Hopefully, I'll be the one with milk to spare.

Milestone: Smile for Me

2012-01-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

Today, at 4 weeks and one day, Evan smiled at me. He was grumpy, looking around, and I moved into his view. A smile flickered across his face, and then it turned into a grin. It didn't last long, definitely not long enough to get a picture, but it happened.
He's been smiling at random for the past week, while he was awake even. But Eddie and I both knew those smiles didn't mean anything - they were like random twitches, not connected to anything that was actually going on around Evan.

And I hate to admit it, but I wasn't the first person he smiled at. Evan smiled at his daddy first, which was also today. I couldn't be happier.

Next up: Catching a photo of him in the act.

Cloth Diapers: 3 week Update

2012-01-02T16:04:00.000-05:00

Our original plan was to cloth diaper at the hospital, but that didn't work out. Evan was whisked away to the NICU (they said only for an hour to monitor him, but it was longer than that) - then he was brought to me for the first time, and taken back again. I didn't get him back again until after 3am.

Needless to say, my goal of keeping disposables off of him didn't work, because he wasn't even with me. We decided to leave him in disposables for the rest of our stay, and we took the remaining disposables home, and used them each time we brought him back for Bili checks, or other appointments. However, he was in cloth from his first diaper change at home, and we loved it. We stopped using disposables on trips out once his cord stump fell off, so we can put him in BumGenius 3.0 size smalls (not meant for newborns) on trips to the doctor and anywhere they will want to take his diaper off.

He currently goes through 11 newborn fitteds, 5 BumGenius All-in-Ones, 1 Best Bottom (with 3 inserts), 1 small (can be sized up some) Pocket/All-in-Two. This can be as many as 21 diapers, or as few as 18, depending on if our All-in-Two shells are salvageable after changes. As of last night, we've begun using prefolds as well (we didn't feel comfortable with them when he had a cord stump, or even when his belly button was healing after it came off). We have 16 prefolds.

We are currently doing laundry mostly every day, because he goes through so many diapers. We may change him a tad bit more than necessary though. Better safe than sorry.

After a full day of diapering (since laundry was done), his bag was nearly full.

We're also using cloth wipes. We have 10 Spasilk baby washcloths, 3 random baby washcloths, and 7 bamboo velour/flannel wipes. The velour/flannel are our favorite, but they all get the job done.

Our favorite wipes, which we only realized we loved because we got this one as a freebie on Black Friday.

The wipe solution we're currently using, but I use so much that I'll have to get the concentrated version next time.

We also have three Kawaii Pure & Natural - but Evan is lean, so they don't fit yet.

It overlaps very minorly, but not enough to hold. Oh well, maybe soon.
And Evan's first time in a prefold:

Pardon the shadows, he was starting to be squirmy because I took too long with the pictures!

Overall we love the diapers right now. We have only had one leak, which was a BG all-in-one that wasn't on tight enough. User error.

Next time around we will get more fitteds though, because they fold down for the cord stump and we find them bulletproof.

Giveaway: Lulu Wrap

2012-01-01T20:07:00.001-05:00

Eco Baby Mama Drama is hosting a giveaway for a lulu wrap, now through 1/11/12.

If you plan on babywearing, a carrier of some sort is a must! And even if you aren't planning on it. I know I wasn't, but then I realized it's not up to me at all. It's up to the baby, really.
Also, Eco Baby Mama Drama has a video tutorial on how to wrap it, which I believe really simplifies the process.

Enter to win.

Giveaway: Fuzzibunz One-Size Diaper

2012-01-01T14:29:00.000-05:00

Trying to Go Green is hosting a giveaway for a one-size Fuzzibunz diaper, through today.

Enter now for your chance to win!

Giveaway: Lil Helper Charcoal Bamboo Cloth Diaper

2012-01-01T14:10:00.000-05:00

Northern Baby is giving away a Lil Helper Charcoal Bamboo diaper (AIO/AI2), now through January 14th.

Enter for your chance to win!

Giveaway: Thirsties Duo Diaper w/ Snaps

2012-01-01T13:28:00.000-05:00

Adventures in Fluff is hosting a giveaway for one Thirsties Duo Diaper, now through January 6th.

Enter for your chance to win!

Giveaway: BumGenius Tiny Socialite Artist Series

2012-01-01T13:20:00.000-05:00

Doable Diapers is having a giveaway for one BumGenius one-size diaper, now through January 3rd.

Enter for your chance to win.

Welcoming our baby boy

2011-12-31T22:06:00.000-05:00

I wanted to wait to post anything until I had his birth story typed up, but he's 3 weeks old tonight, and I've yet to finish it. But I will! I'm not giving up.

Stationery card

2011-12-29T18:19:00.001-05:00

Initially Baby Sage Birth Announcement

Birth announcements, Valentine's cards, & invitations by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Attention Cloth Diaper Bloggers!

2011-12-09T00:19:00.001-05:00

Do you like to try new products?

Do you like free things?

Do you like sharing your opinion?

Then this opportunity might be for you!

Kebbie's Diaper Bag is looking for people to try out and review select cloth diapering products.

100 cloth diapering bloggers in the United States will have a chance.

You might even get a chance to host a product giveaway!

There are a few simple rules, and a form that must be filled out here if you are interested.

If you're interested, don't delay. Time is of the essence! It's first come, first serve.

Fluff Stash

2011-10-01T23:38:00.000-04:00

We've decided to cloth diaper. This means we have to buy things now, so that we can save money later. It also means that we get to pick out cute designs and patterns for diapers.

I think we're pretty much set on newborn-sized, but we would like to get some newborn AIO (all-in-one) diapers to make life easier. If we don't get around to it, that's fine though. We'll make do. (What is an AIO? Click here.)

All of the following photos were taken as I sorted diapers for prepping, hence so many grouped photos.

Our "stash" consists of the following:


These were what I received from the December mom gift swap. A joey-bunz insert/doubler, and a medium Planet Wise wetbag for use when out and about. Love it!

16 small prefolds, misc microfiber inserts for various pocket diapers, 5 BumGenius 3.0 size small, 10 Kissaluv size 0, one Dappi fitted size small

2 Econobum one-size prefolds, and the joey-bunz insert again (because these are new and got boiled before going into the wash)

Working from bottom to top - 5 BumGenius 4.0 One-Size Pockets (they were seconds which means they have small "flaws" and came with no insert), 2 Lovely Pocket Diapers (one has monkeys, hearts and bananas, the other is just polka-dots), and one Little American Pocket Diaper (Batman-themed, and my husband's favorite - he even "stalked" and bought it)

Two Econobum one-size covers, one "La-Di-Da" cover size small.

5 Happy Heiny Pocket Diapers

2 FuzziBunz pockets, size medium.

The wetbag again, and our only cloth wipe - organic, by Kissaluv.

12 BumGenius 3.0 AIO size small - bought used, and not sure if we will use them as they require minor repairs before use.

Most of this was bought used, then we had a lot of sale purchases. Only the Little American Batman diaper, and the two Lovely Pocket Diapers were bought without a sale.

We also have some more on the way:
2 Bummis Whisper Wraps size newborn, 1 unknown brand cover size xs, 1 Ceilidh cloth fitted size newborn, 3 cricketts fitteds size newborn, and 1 Sage Pocket size 1.

This brings our total to:
The newborn stage: 14 newborn fitteds, 4 newborn/small/x-small covers, 16 newborn prefolds (I'd rather just use these as inserts...), 1 pocket that can be used on a newborn
"In-Between" newborn and one-size: 5 BG 3.0 AIO's that we will use, and another 12 that we may not
One-sized: 2 prefolds, 13 pockets, 2 covers
Medium: 2 pockets

Misc: 1 medium wetbag, 1 cloth wipe, 1 joey-bunz insert, 15 pocket inserts (multiple sizes)

Must get still: A pack of snappis to secure prefolds, inserts (we want these, and more joey-bunz), more one-size (unless I want to do diaper laundry every day), preferably some newborn AIO (though this isn't needed at all), at least 1 hanging wetbag, and definitely a lot more wipes!

Mission Impossible: Kitchen Clutter

2011-09-24T17:12:00.000-04:00

Our kitchen is the center of our home. It's where we spend the majority of our time. Heck, we have our laptops on the table, next to a center counter.
There are cabinets to the ceiling (many of which cannot be reached, and thus are empty - but we'll tackle that another time), and because of this, among other things, many things get left out on the counter. Not to mention papers, bills, magazines... Oh boy.
This weekend, I made a list of everything I deem urgent in our home. I sat down and decided which of these things could possibly get done in only a couple days.

I chose:

Under Sink
Cup Cabinet
Counter by Fridge
Bathroom Drawers

There is still an overwhelming amount that needs to be done on the list. However, I tackled the first three of those things - and still have time to get the fourth done this weekend.

First, let's start with under the sink. It's never really been touched before, except to shove extra dish detergent and vinegar down there. Well, it was time to change that! It was a mess. The whole right side was never cleaned since moving in and was full of debris, a broken shelf, and some random pot lids that must have belonged to a former owner.

I emptied everything out, and began cleaning. It was very discouraging though, especially because the bottom dipped down... and then there was the massive hole for piping. How could I store anything down here?
Not to mention it was extremely filthy.

After some scrubbing, I got it cleaned up. Then came the problem of actually utilizing the space. I didn't want my things touching that. Can you blame me?

My husband had a solution, even though he didn't know it. He proposed covering the hole with some of the remaining wood from a desk we had taken apart. An idea was born! How about covering more than just the hole? Covering the entire bottom even? Brilliant!
So he set off to cut just the right size from one of the sides. It took some work, as we are severely lacking in proper tools, but he managed.
And then I got to do the fun part. Organize and decide what could go down there.

The right side. Unopened vinegar, dish soap, extra Brillo pads (stored conveniently in tupperware, rather than the unsightly box they came in) all went onto the shelf I feared I couldn't make used of.
Below, I put unused sponges into another plastic container (we use three different types for different purposes), and in another plastic container went the water-plug-things (don't I just have a way with words?) that we never really use anyway. In front of these, I placed the mat that preluded our dish rack, and on top - the dish rack. It finally had a permanent home that was not the counter. Voila, instant counter space.

Now the other side. What did we even have left?

The left side. Carpet cleaner went to the back right, glass cleaner to the back left, and opened vinegar in the front right. I also decided this would be a decent place to put our plastic baggies (gallon sized are what is in the jar behind the boxes) and tinfoil. I plan on getting one of those racks for them at some point, but for now, this works. We also now have extra washcloths under there. They will soon get a small bin.

Look at that progress! I was so proud, already. However, we couldn't be done yet. Next to the fridge is an awkward section of counter that is a bit tucked away. That had been collecting everything for two years now. During the process of working under the sink, we moved all the junk from by the fridge (minus the microwave - that got to stay put) out onto the counter. Now it either had to go back (what?) or find new homes.

We started with a shelf. It could house our coffee and like items that usually lived on our main counter. We decided to place it above a set of hooks that were already over there. On the hooks live cat collars that we don't use - but they have tags on them. If we ever take the cats somewhere, the cats get a pretty collar until we are safely home again. They have only been used for vet trips thus far, and it's definitely reassured me for those spay/neuter trips.

Below the shelf, we placed non-dairy creamer and sugar. Behind it is a jar of dog treats, and next to that is the kettle, and microwave.

We kept a box of pet things, and moved it to the pantry until we can do a complete makeover to that, and we got rid of pretty much everything else. Amazing how much more space this created. My husband is extremely happy about it all as well.

The other thing we did was go through all of our cups and put those that we don't use aside to post on Craigslist.We still have some disorganization, but honestly, it's nothing that a pretty shelf won't fix.
I was thinking of buying this:


Bamboo Stacking Shelves from The Container Store

So now, the kitchen is a bit of a better place. Hopefully we can keep it up. And want to see what we decidedly got rid of? (Somebody is supposed to come get it all any minute actually.)

I also added some other random things since the picture was taken. Tongs for grilling, a whisk, and a picture frame that just wasn't my style.

I love the feeling of making my life easier.

Nesting the Nursery

2011-09-24T01:36:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we took huge advancements towards our nursery. We had already cleaned out the clutter, and started scrubbing the back bedroom down - something we hadn't done since we moved in two years ago.

However, our crib had been delivered, and needed a space to call it's own.

My brother and his girlfriend loaned us their steamer to strip the wallpaper, which actually wasn't all that bad, and we officially embarked on our mission to beautify the room.

After pulling the outdated paper, and border, down, we called it a night.

We felt accomplished, but worn out. There was still a lot to be done. Behind the wallpaper, many imperfections were discovered. Eddie patched up most of it, sanded what needed it, and finished cleaning everything (mainly the ceiling, which certainly needed a paint job, given that some of the paint was flaking off).

Rather than buy new paint, we took an easy way out. We mixed our upcoming wall color in with some old primer we had on hand from two years ago. The color turned out great. Granted, it could have used another coat, but we honestly didn't mind.

We let that sit to dry for a bit, and then peeled the tape off. It was time to prime the walls, doors, and window.

It said we could paint over it in an hour, but we gave it a little extra time, and then we got back to work.

Look at that color!

Once the green was up, it was pretty late. We decided to let it dry, and air out, overnight. We could tackle the baseboard and whatnot when we woke up.

Once I woke up, we decided that I would do the rest of the room, while Eddie painted the armoire we had. It had been mine for ages, and definitely in need of some touch-ups.

Doors, drawers, and shelves were separated from the armoire, and he set off to work. It seemed to go quicker than everything else we had done, but somehow it ended up taking longer. I'm not sure how.

Then the weekend was over. We had wanted to get the crib put together, but it looked like the giant box was going to be a fixture in our hallway for a little bit longer. The next night, we were impatient to get some space back in the hall, so we decided to assemble the crib. Finally!

We brought the green rug that had formerly lived in the room back upstairs, along with our recliner, and put it all in place. The armoire wasn't reassembled yet because we're waiting on new knobs/pulls. We also have yet to get our changing table and decor, but we have time.

I threw an old baby blanket that was mine over the chair - partially for appearance, and partially because the corners are wooden and I was worried about the paint - and Eddie put up the matching light switch and electrical outlet covers.

Voila! What an amazing change it all made.